3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT MOVING INTO ASSISTED LIVING
You may have just made one of the hardest decisions of your life. Or they are about to happen. Placing an elderly person, a loved one in assisted living is arguably one of life’s most difficult decisions. Am I doing the right thing? And then there’s the question of IN WHICH ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY?
3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT MOVING INTO ASSISTED LIVING. Many people who place their loved one, whether a mother, parent, spouse, relative or friend into an assisted living, nursing home or memory care facility after receiving care at home feel guilty.
However, it is advisable to move the person to a place where they will be safe and receive the care they need. Reasons for this can be many, for example, it may be too dangerous at home or simply almost impossible. Depending on the intensity the person needs.
Even if it is the best decision both for their health and for yourself. Unfortunately, it is often the case that guilt and sadness can still overshadow and overwhelm the decision.
If one is forced to make the decision, the negative thoughts and feelings about such a decision hurt incredibly. It is normal that your heart will take some time with what your head already knows.
As you get used to the changes, understanding what triggers the guilt can help you accept the decision and reduce the emotional stress.
In today’s blog post about “3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT MOVING INTO ASSISTED LIVING”, we’ll introduce you to 3 common reasons that trigger feelings of guilt when you give or need to give your loved one or friend to an assisted living facility.
3 common reasons to feel guilty about moving into assisted living. And the reality behind it
Number 1: You failed in your duty to care for her.
- “I promised Mom I would always be there for you and take care of her.”
- “Dad asked me never to let him down.”
- “At our wedding, we swore to be faithful to each other before God. And also to always be there for each other. In good days and bad. In health and in sickness.”
However, that is not the reality: You have sworn and promised that the give the loving person the best care he deserves. If this is no longer possible at home, then the person deserves to get the best care in a facility.
Once you place the person in an assisted living facility, it doesn’t mean they no longer care for them. On the contrary.
It means much more that you have made or will make one of the most difficult decisions of their life. To prioritize his or her health and, moreover, to give him or her the level of care he or she needs. A level that is no longer possible at home in the long run.
In all likelihood, despite this, they will be spending a lot of time with the person, coordinating many things with the staff and advocating for your needs and managing the care overall.
Remember one thing: you are taking good care of your elderly person and you certainly haven’t let them down.
Number 2: You’re not as good at caregiving as you should be.
- “My friend also takes care of her mother at home and has done so longer than I have. I could have and should have continued to do that.”
- “My brother thinks I’m lazy and just don’t want to take care of our mother at home anymore.”
- “My husband’s daughter from a previous marriage is mad at me because I’m dumping your father in the home and not taking care of him enough anymore.”
However, that is not the reality: you are doing the best you can, and that is all that can realistically be done. People are different both the caregiver and the person being cared for.
Every family’s situation is different, and you don’t know the whole story, so it’s not fair to compare yourself to others. Your elderly loved one may have a more severe health condition or need a higher level of care than they can provide at home. And if your own health is suffering or if someone is at risk of injury, it’s time to change your living situation.
If these situations are present, moving protects both your health and safety, it also allows the elderly person to get the care they need. If you do not take care of your own health, sooner or later the health of your loved ones will suffer, because they will not be able to take care of him sufficiently.
A very important point to remember is that people who do not help and understand the situation are not qualified to make judgments or accusations.
If people refuse to understand the reality, then do their best to ignore the hurtful comments.
Number 3: Your loved one’s health would not have gotten worse or better if you hadn’t moved
- “Mom wouldn’t have gotten so sick if she was still at home with me.”
- “Dad would eat better and not lose weight if I were still taking care of him.”
- “My wife would still recognize me if she had stayed home with me instead of moving here.”
However, that is not the reality: it is not possible to control people’s health or cognitive abilities.
It is perfectly normal for us to doubt ourselves. However, the reality is that no one can predict or control the future.
You may think that things would have been different if you had kept your elderly person at home. However, it is also possible that the outcome would have been the same. Or, things might have been worse if you hadn’t decided to move him to an assisted living facility. And then you would blame yourself even more.
Final thoughts
One of the most important things is that you understand that you made a very difficult decision because the need for care at home was no longer possible. Before you decide on a facility, look at several. Talk to the staff and be clear about what you and especially your loved one will experience there. It is very important that you feel comfortable there and that you are happy with the staff and can trust them 100%. Ask. Let them show you files and continue to make the decisions about their loved one’s health.
Remedic has many products to make your loved one’s life easier and promote independence.
REMEDIC 7 DAY PILL BOY ORGANIZER 4 TIMES A DAY
The Pill Box Organizer consists of seven compact compartments – one for each day of the week. Medications for all days of the week can be neatly organized and stored in each layer, making it easy for patients to see what they need to take and when.
Each of the tablet dispenser’s daily compartments features four compartments for morning, noon, afternoon and evening that slide out easily to access the appropriate section. The compartments are designed so that only one compartment is accessible at a time. This ensures that the pills in the other compartments do not fall or get lost. This makes it one of the best pill organizers for the elderly and patients with dexterity issues.
For more everyday helpers to make your loved one’s life easier and more independent, visit our website at https://remedic.co/products/
We hope you enjoyed our blog post about “3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL LONGER GUILTY WHEN MOVING TO AN ASSISTED LIVING HOME”. Please contact us at any time if you have any questions or comments.
Source:
https://dailycaring.com/3-reasons-to-stop-feeling-guilty-about-putting-mom-in-assisted-living/